Posted by: erinmelissa | July 20, 2009

Reasons I can’t be friends with Jack Bauer

As Tim and I have slowly made our way through 6 full days with Jack Bauer, I have come to this conclusion.  As awesome as I think he is, as much as I admire his devotion to this country, and stand in awe of his ability to move at warp speed for 24 hour stretches, he and I (and anyone I know, for that matter), must never be friends. 

You might be thinking, “Why?  Why would you give up a great friendship like that of Jack Bauer?”

Because, quite simply, I would then have to die.  I’ve studied pretty carefully, and I’m pretty certain that anyone who gets to close to Jack Bauer meets a terrible and horrible death by terrorists, or radiation, or Nina, or Jack himself. 

The only people who seem to excape this curse are (with a few exceptions) abysmal characters to begin with.  Take, for example, Kim.  Ugh.  So far, season 6 has been Kim free, and I am so glad.  (Secretly we root for the bad guys when they have Kim in their possession.)  Her stupidity and selfishness seem to have safe guarded her from much more than a car accident and running a lot.  Oh, and breaking up with a lot of guys.  Where was I going with this?

Um, anyway, so based on Jack’s track record losing everyone in his life (but Kim), no matter how loose the connection, should he try to friend me on facebook (if I was on facebook) or call me up, or show up at my door, I would have to ignore him.  For safety’s sake. 

It’s only wise.



  1. David and I read this together and laughed. You are funny.

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